At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have tasted many bathrooms
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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