Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
