smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
