If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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