Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
