If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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