I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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