after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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