i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
