I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize