So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize