The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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