If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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