He is an equal opportunity slut.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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