how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
