he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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