I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
