I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
