do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize