just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
