you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize