Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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