Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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