i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize