Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
