you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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