so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
