So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
