No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
