I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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