it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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