their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
