bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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