Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
