He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
