I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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