I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize