She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
