Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
