I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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