Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
