It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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