i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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