We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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