Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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