I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
