i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
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He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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