ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
