I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the day after is always just damage control
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
