I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize