Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
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He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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