put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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