Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
