I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sobbing to NWA
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
