I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
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I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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