I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Watching her eat just hurts me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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